BDSM is an acronym which describes sexual practices that involve bondage and discipline, domination and submission, sadism and masochism. Bondage is sexual slavery and the act involves restraining a person into a post, bed, chair, wall or ceiling, using chains or a rope. People find the sensation of struggling as pleasurable while others may be aroused from the pain and humiliation brought about by their partner. Bondage is also linked to sexual teasing in the form of torture that many find sexually exciting. These sexual acts must be consensual and negotiation and contracts must be in place.
Bondage feels pleasurable on the part of the one being submitted and it usually generates sexual feelings from being helpless and vulnerable associated with being dominated and subjugated to the person controlling the situation. The partner controlling the situation, and doing the binding finds excitement in seeing a bound body tied either in chains, ropes, or other BDSM restraints.
The materials used in bondage vary. The most common ones used are BDSM restraints which are used to tie and control your partner. Some use leather cuffs, chains, handcuffs, even ropes. Some people are resourceful and use the ones readily available in their homes. However, some people love to incorporate other sex toys. One common position for tying is the spread eagle where in the partner is tied to a spreader bar.
Dominance and Submission is also a sub category of BDSM which uses the elements of control as part of the erotic experience. Sadism and masochism on the other hand is the use of humiliation through words and actions, and pain to elicit sexual pleasure. S&M acts include spanking using the hands, whip or other objects, torturing the sensitive areas of the body like the mouth, balls, penis, vagina, nipples and breast. Some sex toys can be used to inflict pain such as ball gags and nipple clamps.
A ball gag is one of the most popular BDSM sex toys. It is usually used during roleplays involving other BDSM restraints but it can also be used on its own. It is usually worn by the partner being submitted. A ball gag is a rubber or silicone ball which can be worn on the mouth using a strap. Putting a gag on the submissive partner is usually a turn on for the dominant partner because of the restraint on speech. Extra caution should be exercised when incorporating a ball gag in your sex act. Do not use it if you have colds or if you have difficulty breathing through your nose. When a submissive partner is in a restrained position, it may be hard to remove a ball gag when it’s already obstructing breathing. Both partners should agree on a safe signal to communicate if the ball gag is proving to inhibit breathing.
Some women enjoy their breasts being tortured or restrained. Nipple clamps are clamps used on the nipples to pinch and inflict pain. There are many kinds of nipple clamps which include a piercing clamp, tweezer clamp, and clothes pin clamp. Another kind of clamp is the clover clamp which can be pulled to increase the pinch and pain inflicted. Breast clamps can be used with a chain and it can be tied to the bed or a post. It can also be used simultaneously with other BDSM restraints such as chains, handcuffs, blindfolds, ropes, and belts.
The nipple although a highly erogenous zone, is also sensitive. Be extra careful when using nipple clamps and don’t leave them on for longer than 20 minutes. Using clamps can also elevate the feeling of orgasm because of the endorphin release that they induce. Most clamps are adjustable so you can choose how much pinch and pain you find pleasurable. Some nipple clamps even vibrate and generate heat.
If you are a beginner in BDSM you can try some milder sex toys like handcuffs and blinfolds. You can even pick the kind of material that turns you one such as leather, stainless steel, satin and ropes. Eventually you can upgrade to other sex toys like whips, paddles, clamps, and gags and experiment with solo play or partner sex. The important thing about incorporating BDSM in your partner sex is consent and communicating your desires and limits to your partner.